I was warned about this game. That is "wasn't Parodius," despite how it claimed to be the successor to it. I hoped against hope that I'd be pleasantly surprised, but only to be spat in the face.
This is probably one of the most boring, dull as dishwater Shmups I've had the misfortune of playing. For being on a 7th gen console, there is absolutely no reason why it has such lack of creativity in every area: Enemies, bosses, characters, stages. Enemies are all just boring robots and forgettable, bosses are basically ALL just variants of the Core boss from Gradius 1, characters are all non-character school girls (this game wants to be TouHou really badly) and are hella Ecchi, and the stages are all very generic space levels. Coming from Parodius, a series bursting with zaniness and creativity that poked fun at Japanese culture and Konami franchises, a game so creatively bankrupt, is a shame to the series to say the least. My qualms with the presentation aside, this just just a really boring game. The character's hit-boxes are very unclear and big, so I very often found myself dying a ton when I thought I was dodging bullets. The guns aren't that varried (again, Gradius I & II levels of gun variety) and the characters basically just feel like reskins of each other, given that they're all school girls, and basically all tiny variants of Vic Viper (the classic Gradius ship). This is a shockingly poor showing coming from a series that has as extensive and weird a cast as Parodius did. Then, again, enemy and boss variety is really dull, so most the whole game is the same strategy of just "dodge lasers, kill robots, shoot core, repeat." Your hitbox is so big and your guns feels so weak though, it really makes it hard to even just have fun blowing shit up because you feel so helpless and weak. Verdict: Avoid like the plague. This is a tasteless, soulless, shit husk of a game. This is a game that you can buy for under 10 bucks on Amazon in new condition for a good reason. Go and pick up a Cave made Shmup like, Akai Katana or Deathsmiles instead, because those are only a little more expensive, also for 360, and are everything this game was trying to be x 10,000,000. Tl;dr: It's shit and I want the hour it took me to beat it back.
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AuthorI'm an avid gamer who likes to detail their thoughts about what they play in the hopes it might aid someone else's search for a game to play. Archives
April 2024
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